The Hidden Affects Of Religious Dogma Part One

You Struggle With Boundaries and Saying NO

You've always been conditioned to submit, serve, or forgive—even in toxic or abusive situations. Saying "no" or putting your needs first feels selfish or sinful.

Religious programming says you must submit, serve, give, and forgive even in toxic and abusive situations. The system teaches that if you think of taking care of yourself first, you are selfish, so creating boundaries becomes "wrong" or "sinful."

Programming gives you a priority list that looks like this:

God first, then family, serving others, you are last.

Whether you have a family or not, you were not a priority in your life!

Religion taught exhaustion, which is related to the hustle-and-grind culture still alive in society. Taking care of other people resulted in self-neglect. IIt'sa societal pressure that many of us have felt. Taking care of others looked like doing things for others, giving your time and money away, and always being available to help people.

Religion taught you to accept manipulation. What does this teaching look like? God will bless you if you do (fill in the blank). Religion teaches that you must do something to show yourself worthy of a so-called blessing, love, or having a good life. People were often put on a pedestal in church for always doing for others and never thinking about themselves.

How does this identity show up in your life now?

1. You are still allowing yourself to be manipulated-Someone asks you to do something or go somewhere, and you proceed to say no, yet that person talks you out of your power by pointing to all the benefits of saying yes when the benefits are for them.

2. You allow people to cross your boundaries.

You think because you don't hate a person anymore for harming you, they can come into your space.

3. You feel you have to explain or justify your NO by following up with an explanation of why your NO is not a reflection on the other person or people involved.

4. Your NO is not clear and confident because you fear being too direct; if your yes can be clear and confident, so can your NO.

5. You still second guess investing in yourself, whether making time for yourself or using money for something you enjoy. You second guess doing something for yourself because you are attempting to justify your desire. Religion does not teach you that you can do something for yourself simply because that is what you desire.

How do you transcend this? How do you start making your NO clear and confident? How do you begin to set boundaries for yourself?

*Think of the last time you struggled to answer with a NO

Ask yourself why you struggled with that answer.

*Think of three ways that you can make yourself a priority right now.